I want to be real with you all. I am pretty depressed.
But...Jonah-Depressed.
Allow me to explain.
Within the first three verses of the book of Jonah, God tells Jonah to go to a land that Jonah cannot stand and Jonah tells God no. He then, on his own strength and power, goes in the opposite direction that God wanted. Then, a few verses later, a large fish (commonly referred to as "whale") gets involved and it is super awkward for everybody. Jonah gets to Ninevah, the place God wanted him to be, and Jonah then gets depressed that he doesn't get to see the city blow up and gets so childishly angry when a plant dies, etc.
I am Jonah. I am impatient. I get upset over stupid, small, trivial things. I get upset when God says "Go".
Where is God telling me to go?
America.
What.
I am fairly certain that it is God's will for me to stay in America longer, start college courses, learn Hindi and further prepare myself for a life of ministry in India, but that involves living in America, which is out of my comfort zone. Yeah, America is out of my comfort zone. I feel at home in India, I feel like I belong here, and the idea of staying in America any longer makes me stupidly, irrationally upset.
Upon hearing that Jonah must go to Ninevah, Jonah feels upset, and I am sure he thought, "No, God! No! I've been avoiding Ninevah my entire life!!"
Upon hearing God, several times, speak to me about His plans, I keep thinking, "No, God! No! I've been avoiding Wake Tech my entire life!!"
Hahaha. Yeeeeeeah.
But...here's the thing. This is God's desire. If it is, indeed, His desire, I will go. I will go without shaking my fists. I will suppress my irrational anger and depression. I need to go where he takes me.
Sorry this post was short, but I really needed to get this out of my brain/heart. Love you guys.
But...Jonah-Depressed.
Allow me to explain.
Within the first three verses of the book of Jonah, God tells Jonah to go to a land that Jonah cannot stand and Jonah tells God no. He then, on his own strength and power, goes in the opposite direction that God wanted. Then, a few verses later, a large fish (commonly referred to as "whale") gets involved and it is super awkward for everybody. Jonah gets to Ninevah, the place God wanted him to be, and Jonah then gets depressed that he doesn't get to see the city blow up and gets so childishly angry when a plant dies, etc.
I am Jonah. I am impatient. I get upset over stupid, small, trivial things. I get upset when God says "Go".
Where is God telling me to go?
America.
What.
I am fairly certain that it is God's will for me to stay in America longer, start college courses, learn Hindi and further prepare myself for a life of ministry in India, but that involves living in America, which is out of my comfort zone. Yeah, America is out of my comfort zone. I feel at home in India, I feel like I belong here, and the idea of staying in America any longer makes me stupidly, irrationally upset.
Upon hearing that Jonah must go to Ninevah, Jonah feels upset, and I am sure he thought, "No, God! No! I've been avoiding Ninevah my entire life!!"
Upon hearing God, several times, speak to me about His plans, I keep thinking, "No, God! No! I've been avoiding Wake Tech my entire life!!"
Hahaha. Yeeeeeeah.
But...here's the thing. This is God's desire. If it is, indeed, His desire, I will go. I will go without shaking my fists. I will suppress my irrational anger and depression. I need to go where he takes me.
Sorry this post was short, but I really needed to get this out of my brain/heart. Love you guys.
No comments:
Post a Comment