I can never get a blog post in...ever. it breaks my heart that I haven't had time to update you all, much less have as many Skype calls with my family as I would like. I am very busy. It is good to be busy, but I also have a responsibility to you all and my true love of writing, drawing and thinking. Alone.
I may be an extrovert, but I have been craving isolation. Quiet. "Isolation" and "Quiet" are non-existent in India. I usually thrive in chaos (this makes me good for missions in India), but I long for time alone.
I hate that my blog, not unlike my mind, will be disorganized and posts will lack a general theme. I also hate that I am typing. I hate that I am not writing. I love to write, and by write, I mean spend hours alone, favorite pen in hand, writing whatever I want carelessly, downing coffee and doodling all over at least five journals at a time. And not sharing my writing/poetry/art....but I owe you guys...
I realize that privacy will never happen. I have always been a very open person, sharing my art, poems, even life story with others, but as a missionary, my life is watched by hundreds of beautiful chocolate-eyed children and read about by thousands of people on the internet... The statistics on Blogspot just... sortof...i don't know...horrify me with the reality that thousands of people...not only in America...Read my blog. As a writer, that's fantastic, but they are reading about my life. It's kindof a scary thought. Plus there is the fact that my life is not worth anyone's time to read and I am horrified at the idea that people think I am some sort of "super-Christian" for being here. I am so afraid of failing you all. I am terrified of screwing up. (DC Talk's "What if I Stumble" comes to mind......yeah, ignore that I referenced DC Talk in my blog...)
Truth is, I'm not awesome. I'm a bag of bones, worthless dust apart from Christ. It is not I who live, but Christ who lives in me. So, please. Don't think so highly of Brooke. She's a sinner and she will fail you. However, God will not. See Christ in me, see the gospel, don't praise Brooke.
so that ends a few rabbit trails. Hmmm...what's the next rabbit trail...
Ah, yes. Coffee.
Alexis (my roommate) and I are OBSESSED with coffee. Heck, if you know me well, you know that I have been to all the major coffee shops/cafes in the greater Raleigh area and I am a hugeeee coffee nerd. So much of a coffee nerd that everyone at my favorite coffee shop back home know me. I mean, like...really know me. It's actually kinda sad. Hahaha.
WELL.
We've been having instant coffee. For WEEKS.
*Short moment of silence followed by passionate sobbing*
Yeah. INSTANT. Like...That's not even actual coffee!!
Granted, coffee is not a need is a need, so my roommate and I, after reaching Raipur (7 hours away by train), completely cleared out an entire grocery store's supply of coffee grounds and brought it back to the compound. We didn't go to Raipur soley for coffee....but....well, that's another story, for another blog post. BUT THE IMPORTANT THING TO NOTE IS COFFEE. And MAN, it is so surprising how emotionally stable I am with coffee!! It's not a beautifully pulled shot, but, dang. We have coffee.
Um, next subject.
I found out that all of the boys in the hostel are amazing at art. I found this out the other day.
I went outside, trying to have some time alone (hahahahahahaha) with a sketchbook, drawing and drinking coffee (drawing while drinking coffee is my favorite thing in the world. Second favorite thing is writing while drinking coffee. Third favorite thing is drinking coffee while drinking coffee.). However, I was not alone for long (well, duh, I was outside). I looked up to see several of the guys around me, watching me draw. I only freaked out a little bit (okay, a LOT. I may have gasped or screamed....if I'm drawing, I am in a different world.)...And then they all laughed and wanted to draw as well. I let some of the older boys try and draw. I didn't expect it to be that great...and then it blew my mind how ALL OF THEM were amazing at art.
So, naturally, I went out and bought sketchbooks for all the guys on the compound. Hahahaha.
I have to go somewhere and do things. I will try to write more. SOON. I swear. Maybe. Might write. Maybe will write. For you all. Soon. Perhaps.
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