Pictures!

Here are some recent pictures:

Me & Glory! Can you believe she used to be shy? She is so goofy and precious!

My "Little Sister", Saroti! She is so dear to my heart. I love her so very much.

Study time! You can see in the background that there is sound equipment for church and several drums! Everyone here is a fantastic percussionist, singer, dancer, writer, artist...They are amazing!

Millie and Hosanna!

Mukti studying for school

Sanjay studying hard!

My brother Abin!

My sister Hosanna! She has been helping me learn my Hindi alphabet, learn some Hindi words and helps me laugh often! I love her so very much!

My sister, Blessing! She has such a sweet, tenderhearted spirit and gives such sweet hugs!

Rojaleen studying by the pulpit!

Niharika! She is so precious and always gives me sweet hugs! She just turned 10 and we all celebrated her birthday! She may be small, but she has the biggest smile and the cutest laugh!

Goutam! Goutam is so talented! He is an amazing dancer and has an amazing laugh :)

Millie carrying some dinner!

One of the millions of lizards that live outside...and inside! I love the lizards. I think they are really cool looking and I am very thankful that they eat the nasty bugs and beetles that make their way to my bed!

This is the windowsill by my bed, it's my special stuffs...Gameboy color (Pokemon Yellow version, of course! I got it from my amazing friend Amy, who I miss very much), tiny special rocks from Sarita, pens, cameback, sketchbook, iTouch, three of my many journals, my Bible, a book on Hindi and the book "Kisses from Katie" by Katie Davis. Reading her biography certainly aids in my wanting to stay in India :) Anyways, aside from my laptop, camera and guitar, these are the most valuable items (emotionally and monetarily) I have in my possession. It's small and simple, I like it. 

That's all for now, I will write more to you all soon :-)

Brooke VS. Teaching

Teaching.
To be totally honest, teaching was my least favorite part of living in India.
In fact, I wrote this in my journal the first month I was here: (Keep in mind, this is from my journal. I want to be 100% authentic with you all, so realize I was very stressed and frustrated when I wrote this)

The kids would not settle down today. I literally sat down on the floor until my fifth graders were so confused that they stopped talking...Today is Saturday, but in India, there is school on Saturdays. I think my least favorite part of missions here is not the bugs, not the sweat, not the smell...but school. Not only is there a language barrier and a huge learning gap...but the kids can hardly understand my accent. It is an English medium school, meaning that all the classes are in English, but the kids don't understand my accent. I feel stupid.
  I barely understand the school system, much less the Indian school system and Indian customs in such a conservative area of India, where smacking disruptive students is OK. 
There is no order, no plan, I have been put in classes where I don't understand the subject, I have been put in classes where the majority of the students are still learning English. I am mad at myself for ever thinking that teaching here would be a good idea. The children don't understand me and I am mad at myself for not being able to speak Hindi. How foolish of me for not knowing the language, what am I doing?!...
...I feel useless in school...I hate that I don't know what the kids are saying behind my back in Hindi or Oriya...
...I know this is where I am supposed to be right now, though. I feel like it would not be glorifying to God if I remained in America, and I don't know why...Sure, I would have hygiene and constant A/C in America, but it would be so unfulfilling. My desires are only satisfied in doing what He desires of me...and serving is what makes me really, truly, eternally happy and fulfilled. 
 I was looking out the window last night, gazing at the mountains, praying about staying until November, when suddenly, 14-year old Saroti (from the Children's Hostel I am living at) came up to me, hugged me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. We ended up hugging and looking out at the mountain for several minutes, just her little arms around me, like we were actually sisters. We talked about God and life and things that sisters talk about...
  It made me realize that my heart is here. Every day is going to be hard. Language barriers exist, but soon I plan to jump over that barrier. I see that I am needed here, I know these kids need my input in their lives, shame on me for being so concerned about how "useless" I feel..."Oh, Father, use my ransomed life in any way You choose. Let my song forever be 'my only boast is You'"
Anyways, my main verse this week has been Psalm 118:6
"The Lord is on my side, I will not fear. What can mere middle-schoolers do to me?"
Ok, ok, OK. That is not how Psalm 118:6 is written, but...well...You know...

Since writing that, things have gotten more routine. A short-term team came to our compound for a week and they all teach back in the states. They helped us out more than ever and we are still really bummed that they had to leave so soon! They taught us many tips and tricks and, upon returning home, send us all a google doc with science experiments and other helpful things. What a blessing these guys were! Here's a picture of the team that visited:

We were having a lot of trouble with the old principal and my host dad hired a new principal who has set everything in order, calmed the chaos and made everything OK... It is much more routine and I semi-know what I am doing and I have been very committed to the 5th grade class. It has gotten to the point where I want to punch myself for ever thinking that the 5th grade class was the worst class for me...It is my favorite class to teach. The kids have grown accustomed to me and my horribly lame jokes and even come to class with little "biscuits" (cookies) or drawings for me.

Actually...I have found that my 5th graders are fantastic artists and are really creative. Here's some pictures of the class!!

I have grown to love these kids and I almost can't imagine myself doing anything different.

To be honest, if you asked me five years ago if I would want to be a missionary, I would probably laugh you off. I always imagined if I were a missionary, I'd have to be some super-conservative tight old lady with socks above her knees and frown upon happiness and good music.
Annnnd I was wrong. Granted, Brooke five years ago was 16 years old and planned on becoming a rockstar.

*coughing* aaaaanyways.

The longer I stay here, the longer I want to stay. It breaks my heart to imagine going back to America when all of these beautiful lives are here. I love teaching, I love loving on the kids, I love goofing of and living life in a real, genuine way. I love India. I love hugging and fixing boo-boos. I love all of it.

Where do I start?

I can never get a blog post in...ever. it breaks my heart that I haven't had time to update you all, much less have as many Skype calls with my family as I would like. I am very busy. It is good to be busy, but I also have a responsibility to you all and my true love of writing, drawing and thinking. Alone.

I may be an extrovert, but I have been craving isolation. Quiet. "Isolation" and "Quiet" are non-existent in India. I usually thrive in chaos (this makes me good for missions in India), but I long for time alone.

I hate that my blog, not unlike my mind, will be disorganized and posts will lack a general theme. I also hate that I am typing. I hate that I am not writing. I love to write, and by write, I mean spend hours alone, favorite pen in hand, writing whatever I want carelessly, downing coffee and doodling all over at least five journals at a time. And not sharing my writing/poetry/art....but I owe you guys...

I realize that privacy will never happen. I have always been a very open person, sharing my art, poems, even life story with others, but as a missionary, my life is watched by hundreds of beautiful chocolate-eyed children and read about by thousands of people on the internet... The statistics on Blogspot just... sortof...i don't know...horrify me with the reality that thousands of people...not only in America...Read my blog. As a writer, that's fantastic, but they are reading about my life. It's kindof a scary thought. Plus there is the fact that my life is not worth anyone's time to read and I am horrified at the idea that people think I am some sort of "super-Christian" for being here. I am so afraid of failing you all. I am terrified of screwing up. (DC Talk's "What if I Stumble" comes to mind......yeah, ignore that I referenced DC Talk in my blog...)

Truth is, I'm not awesome. I'm a bag of bones, worthless dust apart from Christ. It is not I who live, but Christ who lives in me. So, please. Don't think so highly of Brooke. She's a sinner and she will fail you. However, God will not. See Christ in me, see the gospel, don't praise Brooke.

so that ends a few rabbit trails. Hmmm...what's the next rabbit trail...

Ah, yes. Coffee.

Alexis (my roommate) and I are OBSESSED with coffee. Heck, if you know me well, you know that I have been to all the major coffee shops/cafes in the greater Raleigh area and I am a hugeeee coffee nerd. So much of a coffee nerd that everyone at my favorite coffee shop back home know me. I mean, like...really know me. It's actually kinda sad. Hahaha.

 WELL.

We've been having instant coffee. For WEEKS. 

*Short moment of silence followed by passionate sobbing*

Yeah. INSTANT. Like...That's not even actual coffee!!

Granted, coffee is not a need  is a need, so my roommate and I, after reaching Raipur (7 hours away by train), completely cleared out an entire grocery store's supply of coffee grounds and brought it back to the compound. We didn't go to Raipur soley for coffee....but....well, that's another story, for another blog post. BUT THE IMPORTANT THING TO NOTE IS COFFEE. And MAN, it is so surprising how emotionally stable I am with coffee!! It's not a beautifully pulled shot, but, dang. We have coffee.

Um, next subject.

I found out that all of the boys in the hostel are amazing at art. I found this out the other day.

 I went outside, trying to have some time alone (hahahahahahaha) with a sketchbook, drawing and drinking coffee (drawing while drinking coffee is my favorite thing in the world. Second favorite thing is writing while drinking coffee. Third favorite thing is drinking coffee while drinking coffee.). However, I was not alone for long (well, duh, I was outside). I looked up to see several of the guys around me, watching me draw. I only freaked out a little bit (okay, a LOT. I may have gasped or screamed....if I'm drawing, I am in a different world.)...And then they all laughed and wanted to draw as well. I let some of the older boys try and draw. I didn't expect it to be that great...and then it blew my mind how ALL OF THEM were amazing at art. 

  So, naturally, I went out and bought sketchbooks for all the guys on the compound. Hahahaha. 

 I have to go somewhere and do things. I will try to write more. SOON. I swear. Maybe. Might write. Maybe will write. For you all. Soon. Perhaps.

WAIT...wasn't Brooke supposed to come home in August? (And/or the post explaining why I'm not leaving)

WAIT...wasn't Brooke supposed to come home in August? (And/or the post explaining why I'm not leaving)

Hey, guys. I know I was supposed to come back in August.
(Stop trying to make August happen, it's not gonna happen)
I am staying until November.
NOVEMBER, GUYS!

I am super excited and totally overjoyed that I can stay and I have the blessing of my parents, my host parents, my fellow interns, my American friends, my Indian friends, the ministries I am associated with, etc...

Now I need to tell you WHY I am staying. This is very important, guys.

Reasons why Brooke is not coming back to America sooner and needs your financial support:

1) The short-term team that was here for a week has supplied us with 12 laptops! This is enough for a computer lab. Many of the kids in this village have never seen/used computers before and computer related jobs are a huge part of India. I will be teaching Middle-School (6th, 7th and 8th grade) Computer in a private school where many of the students are Hindus. Not only will teaching provide an education in computers and computer training for these kids, but I have the chance to form relationship with these kids and share the gospel. SOLID, RIGHT?! :-D

2) My hearts have become knitted to the children in the hostel/orphanage. The kids are older (the majority of the kids are Middle School or High School age), so I have formed not only friendships with these kids, but I have become their older sister. Many of the kids are not orphaned but have horrible living conditions or their parents are not in any shape to love a child...Many of these kids have experienced extreme abuse. It breaks my heart to know that their own parents are never there for them. The other interns and I have taken to hugging, kissing and even letting the children sleep on our laps or shoulders because we know their own mothers will not do the same for them. I know I make it a habit to tell the girls they are beautiful and, no matter how old they are, kiss them on the head and tell them I love them. I tell them I love them very often. For the boys, I will play a lot of sports with them (volleyball is cool over here...and I am getting pretty good at it!!), make them laugh, goof off with them, let them create, form deep friendships with them.
   There are a lot of kids I have become very close to, almost to the extent that they are almost my siblings. One of the girls, 14- year old Saroti, is very shy. Because of her shyness, I immediately singled her out and made it a personal goal to make her laugh, smile and feel comfortable (this is a very extroverted trait I have, it always seems to be the best idea to make introverts comfortable and make them laugh. I always try to make introverts feel more confident and sometimes present myself with a challenge to make the most introverted person in the room laugh and feel confident and safe. haha). She has really broken out of her shell and I make it an effort to ask her how her classes were, how she is doing, paint her nails, play with her hair, hug her and tell her how beautiful she is. Beautiful people like Saroti are a huge reason I am staying.

3) Did I mention volleyball with the high school hostel guys? Oh my goodness, I can't even count the bruises I get anymore! Volleyball is not only RIDICULOUSLY FUN here (we have no net...just a line in the dirt, a volleyball, no rules, no scoring, all craziness and awesomeness...sometimes the guys will even hit the ball with their head or feet. It gets intense and awesome), but it can also be a huge gospel tool if we go out and play in the village. People love to watch and we can go and speak to them.

4) I love India. Granted, it is not perfect, but I love the beauty, the way of life, constantly being shoe-less, the food, the way people colorfully use gestures in every conversation, the colors, the clothes, the culture, the customs...I love India.

That's some of the basic reasons, there are a million more, but that is all for now. I love you guys :)

Here is where you can support me! http://goo.gl/nSy2aB

Long overdue post!

I have been very busy and there has been so many things going on... I have so much to write about!

First of all, the short term trip came with TWELVE laptops for the school! This makes it possible for a computer lab...and because of this, I have decided to stay LONGER in India as the school's computer teacher! 

That's correct: I am not coming back in August. I am staying until November!!

Due to my visa, I cannot stay any longer than November (I have a ten year tourist's visa... I can only stay for 6 months at a time for 10 years...so...I mean... I could come back...) I am not sure what I will do with my life after November, but that is really not important right now. All I know is that makes about half a year here in India, and I know that is God's plan. Not only that, but I have the overwhelming spiritual and emotional support of my family, the short term trip, the other interns here, my host parents, my coworkers back home, my friends in India, my friends in America... It means so much to me that I have the support of you guys and you agree with my decision to stay. I know this is the Father's plan and I know I can be a huge help in computer courses over here.

I have also been working on social media aspects of the ministry! Katie has been taking amazing photos and I am trying to work out some graphics with a lot of them, trying to get many media sites working for the ministry, etc. 

Here are some photos I have worked on with Katie:

 

That's all I have to write about for this post, look forward to more posts ASAP! :-)